Side

This interface seriously needs work. One side produces the output that is the input for the other side. One could always use one of the multitude tools out there using the blogger api but I prefer to stick to the ones that blogger itself provides and the interface that it currently has is lacking. Should start a revolution, redesign bLOGGER, REDESIGN!

Daily, you I try to justify
Carve a carcass to order
Die and still remain under
Your benevolent command
Bleach the ink on my will
Scatter the justifying lies
Blank myself like an aide
Rummage through the attic
Utter disconcerting words
Shackle myself to you
Hope, it ought to hold
This affliction shall not pass
Carving lines into my hand
Setting eyes upon images
Ascending into a soliloquy
This was not to be
The abode of my dreams
Singing sirens sooth me
Dull lapping water calms me
The storm retreats back down
Into the depths it takes me
As the conscious fades
As the pain subsides
The helpless sadness
The forsaken joy.

All over now reviving
Ready for a challenge
Striking a balance
More persuasion
Deeper recursions
Allied journeys
Groovy perception
Sonic blockades
Sieved informatics
Aristocratic Discursions

Never lived in the land of why
Now seeking hasty accommodation
Stepping into a low down motel
Screaming luxury to my untrained eye
Reading fine print upon the wall
Discarding antique mortar bricks
Punching holes into the structure
Bringing down the room
Witnessing the sky
Feigning lucidity
Inducing felicity
Garnering denials
Recoiling unwittingly
Subduing insanity
This was not to be
The abode of my dreams
Singing sirens sooth me
Dull lapping water calms me
The storm retreats back down
Into the depths it takes me
As the conscious fades
As the pain subsides
The helpless sadness
The forsaken joy.

Inspiration

Quartet
I.
A landscape familiar yet always strange, the enigma of a palm of a hand.
The sea stubbornly carves, with each wave, the monument that it wears away.
Against the sea, will of stone, the featureless rocks continue on.
The clouds inventing sudden bays where an airplane is a ship that fades.
An intangible primer of air, the hasty scrawl of the birds disappears.
I walk between the foam and the sand, the sun perched upon my head:
fixed between immobility and movement, I am the theater of the elements.
II.
There are also tourists on this beach, there's death in bikinis and fancy jewels,
thighs, bellies, flanks, ribs, lungs, the cornucopia of spongy horrors,
an abundance of riches that awaits the worm and its dinner of ashes.
Nearby, separated by a boundary strict and tacit, never expressed,
are the vendors the stalls of frying stuff,the pimps, the parasites and the pariahs:
bone, swill, grease, pus. . .Under a neutral sun, the rich and the poor.
Their God does not love them, nor they themselves:each does but hate his neighbor as himself.
III.
The wind splits off and joins the grove, the nation of clouds breaks up.
The real is fragile, and is inconstant: its law is restless change:
the wheel of appearances turns and turnsover its fixed axis of time.
The light draws it all, and all is on fire, it nails to the sea daggers that are torches,
it makes of the world a pyre of reflections: we are only the whitecaps on the water.
It is not the light of Plotinus, it is earthly light, the light of here, but intelligent light.
And it reconciles me with my exile: its emptiness is home, a wandering asylum.
IV.
To wait for night I have stretched out in the shade of a tree of heartbeats.
The tree is a woman and in its leaves I hear the sea rolling under the day.
I eat its fruits with the taste of time, fruits of forgetting and fruits of knowledge.
Under the tree they look and touch, images, ideas and words.
We return through the body to the begining, spiral of stillness and motion.
Taste, mortal knowledge, finite pause, has a beginning and end---and is measureless.
Night comes in and covers us with its tide;the sea repeats its syllables, now black.
-Octavio Paz

Soon

A man and his E700.

Parabola

The parabola is the mathematical name given to a ubiquituous natural occurence that merely lends itself to our world. It usually goes by unnoticed for it does not stand out but remains when the things constructing it are removed from one's perception. It exemplies simplistic beauty yet by connotation it can be thought to be a taboo. Where where inexistence it can be found I am still searching. There are many occurences and each occurence brings with it another realiztion of the beauty with which this world has been constructed.

Key

If decides to wander outside a room that is locked a key is required. However the door could be unlocked requiring only the turning of the handle. The internal mechanisms that sustain this procedure need not be identified or hacked. The emphasis is on opening not on understanding. While the latter can be fruitful in gathering a key too but the former is devoid of many of the complications that attach themselfs to the latter.
Opening is a process whereby one may leave one room for the other thus being exposed to a new decor possibly bringing about an innate change leading to melting of perviously hardened rules that adorn one's character. The lesson learnt here is that the key is not the key. It is the will to open that is the key.

Blah

The image shows a portion of the surface of the reverse transcriptase enzyme of the HIV-I virus with a molecular model of an inhibitor drug compound bound to the enzyme's receptor pocket. An inhibitor drug blocks the action of the enzyme, disabling its function and thus crippling the virus. The colors mapped on the surface show extremes in the electrostatic potential of the surface and lines which represent the electrostatic field in the vicinity of the receptor pocket. In order to work, a potential inhibitor must have both the right shape and the right electrostatic characteristics to attach itself to the enzyme to disable it.

Normal

Something tells me America will continue its reign, Microsoft will yet again remain the dominant player, pollution will continue, oil will never deplete and I shall never get broadband. As usual I seem to have completely forgotten the post. It is this blue screen that does this to me. It is not very conducive to imaginative thinking. Sigh

Transubstantiation

Before I slip into limbo I would like to take this moment to realize a benefit from this broadband connection that has recently gotten me into so much trouble. The primary objective having been misinterpreted there is naught but dancing men left on my mind.




Thought the resenment caused by unfortunate events is immense there are uncontrollable situations that are faced by all individuals in the course of their lifetime. I for one am not very well situated to embrace these unpleasant, undesirable events. I am left but clenching my jaw.








In the end it does not matter what you do or where you are. In the end it is a simple matter of information. This has not always been the case but in our age of technology and lost wisdom there is only substitute for a worthwhile obsession and that after much deliberation I have decided is enlightenment.

Mistake

There is something about senseless acts. Hard to act.

Ah

Apparently something went wrong. Something went the way it was not supposed to go. Maybe it is for the better.

Tool

Tool as a band has almost a spiritual significance for me. They are a source of inspiration, consolation and humiliation for me. I worship them, metaphorically speaking of course. I do not remember the very first time that I heard them but I recall hearing the familiar cool and calculated voice of Maynard in the background while playing cards during my first at college in Hisham’s room. It was not until the second year that I started having ‘heavy’ philosophical discussions with Cheema. He was an individual. It was during one of the many discussions that I had with him that he started telling me about this band called Tool to whom he had been introduced by J. This band was unique or at least seemed unique at the time to me. Cheema told me stories about the layers of esoteric cult concepts they used in their lyrics, their eccentric playing scale and the rumors surrounding the group members. What interested me most was their theme. They did not focus on love like all the other bands I had been listening to at the time (I had just graduated from Michael Jackson). Instead they focused on deep immersing music coupled with bohemian philosophies. Someone more gifted than me has appropriately described Tool as the band that brings together the head banger and the art connoisseur.
Needless to say the more I listened to Tool the more it drew me in. I purchased all their albums and downloaded all the songs, interviews and concerts I could find. There was once a time I could have claimed I had every word ever uttered by Maynard on microphone residing on my hard disk. The dark ambience that Tool prefers to be enveloped in further drives the obsession of its fans. Their music has such a unique touch to it that once falls for them all others songs become unbearable. They usually use a three beat backdrop that keeps changing within each song, a highly irregular thing in modern day music. Each song is an experience. One can feel the meticulous effort that has gone into constructing the symphony that starts slow and builds up to its prime before slowly dying down. Their average song length far exceeds other bands in their class. It is this variation between each song that keeps each and every song fresh to the listener. Even now when I listen to their songs I find something new. It is as if I enter the song itself.
Tool promotes certain philosophies. They have strong links with a black comedian who did death comedy and a university professor who devised a system of enlightenment through taking hallucinatory drugs. Their lyrics seem to promote individualism and free thought to the extent of questioning even one’s reality. Yet it is very difficult to differentiate between their sarcastic innuendo and real message. They try their best to cloud everything in context. Each message is layered within a dozen or more concepts from psychology, philosophy, religion, medicine etc. Sometimes they make me wonder whether they spend more time reading an encyclopedia or making music.
Maynard, the band’s lead singer is best described as a freak genius. He has a voice that sounds good whether he is singing ballads with Tori Amos or abusing the system with Rage of the Machine. He has a different hair style on each concert and has experiment with artificial appendages also. Little is known about his personal life but rumor has it that he is married with a son. Apparently the lyrics are uttered by Maynard at runtime when the other band members have completed the composition. He is a graduate from an art institution with an uncanny feel for blending words and music.
Danny Carey is the band’s drummer and seems to be the most normal out of all of them. His powerful drum compositions use a surprising amount of geometrical progression. He vowed never to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a free mason yet he now finds himself behind a set of drums, his hands mimicking the ancient rituals which he despises.
Adam Jones is the quiet type of person. He hardly speaks during interviews yet he is the man behind the band’s esoteric videos that sometimes border on the unpleasant. He is the lead guitarist and composes the backbone of most of the songs. He is also a graduate from an art university with credits in big blockbuster movies like Jurassic Park for his miniature motion capture techniques.
Justin Chancellor replaced Paul De’ Amor as bassist. That is all I know about him.

The End.

The way of the Harry.

EXistence

Life is given to us. It may be a random accident or a preordained directive from some supreme force. The evidence for the latter is lacking yet the former makes no sense in the logical constructs that govern our universe. Therefore the ideal solution is to focus on more pressing issues. Existence precedes thought but this is only true for me, i.e. mortals. In an absolute sense the positioning of existence and essence is an allusive question. To answer it would require putting yourself in one category and another and hence being bound by the peripheral conclusions of that particular category. Yet nothing can be discussed in complete isolation. Sooner or later one must call upon past knowledge and discuss things in context. Hence for clarity’s sake of the things I understand existence precedes essence and for those that I do not understand essence precedes existence only because existence in those situations takes on a much vaster role that is assigned in our terms. The lines between existence and essence become blurred. Here the limitations of language also play a role. For it is through our language that we communicate our thoughts. It seems I am repeating what other great minds have said or rather getting lost in my thoughts so deeply I am unable to spit them out.

COMPLEXIFICATION

Logical coherence does not necessitate accuracy which does not guarantee truthfulness which is not what life is all about. The truth is an overrated synonym for complexification. This is the art of molding that which cannot be understood into lingual metaphors, shrouding it in mythical ambiguity effectively replying to a question that requires no answers.
Faith is not the name given to blind intuition. It is the acceptance of realities on face value by one’s own free will. It is the cornerstone of every creed. Many men today claim to have faith. The pagans of yore had faith, the followers of scriptures claim faith, the fans of Elvis Presley claim faith but all these faiths can hardly been held at the same level. Objects have followers because men are unable to separate their desire for answers and their ignorance in relation to that object from their metaphysical plane. The true faith has followers because its followers know that however much they try they will not be able to personalize the centerpiece of their faith. All the ambiguities and unexplained phenomena are resolved using as a base rule a very simple concept, omnipotence.
Water that does not flow can never be pure. A faith that remains stagnant falls prey to the most constant of all things in this universe, change. Time passes on all. Time brings with it different situations. One religion cannot possibly deal with all the situations that will arise from its creation till the end of eternity. A religion has to deal with all situations if it is to be of any use for what is the purpose of a religion but to quell the voice inside. Religion explains the most fundamental principles. These principles are then used to create more imaginable constructs that help explain the world around us and within us. A religion has to flow through time enveloping all new situations and assimilating them into its own framework yet remains true to its original self. Hence the religion itself is not the set of rules that were dictated but the essence that was conveyed. This is for those who understand.
There seems to be many explanations presenting themselves. One cannot but stand in awe at all the possibilities that are inherent. The answers to all questions without exception seem to dissolve into more questions. An unending stream of words which is the collective human knowledge seems to be expanding since the creation of the first man. There is nothing to hold it back. My greatest fear is that there is nothing at the back of this façade, that we are juxtaposed between two alternating fields that keeps us in balance yet never allows us to reach a shore from where we may glance upon something of true value. It is as if we are all in a circle with no beginning and no end. Our mission then is not to traverse the circle but to see a circle instead of a line.
Complexification needs to be eradicated as it leads to the greatest kinds of mistakes that are committed unknowingly by pious saints who are afraid to accept what they know to be true. It affords them the false security of faith including all the bells and whistles of the correct answer which is why it is so difficult to segregate. I do not champion a cause.

BLEED

The essence of being is revealed when reality bleeds. What we see around us normally is a façade conjured by our perception and inclinations. What is required is to break through this meaningless drone of daily life and see life for what is truly is. There is no one answer to what is life. To each individual there is his own answer. The collective fashions a path to which each individual adds his own nuances which enable variety to emerge from uniqueness. This confuses even the more philosophically minded scholars of our generation and sends them on a never ending quest to justify reality using a methodology that is bound to fail. The answer lies in acceptance of the fact that there will be times when one single solution cannot be applied to a whole, when exceptions must be made and conflicting paths taken to the same objective. This singular objective in my opinion is the only thing that can bring any semblance of sense to our reality. To ground all our thoughts and perceptions on this one concept, that is what I feel we must do. In this process not only do we unify the spiritual with the physical but we also manage to get away with conforming to a strict system which inadvertently yet ultimately leads to a schism.
I believe man is born immortal. It is his own inability to grasp what lies within him that drags him down to the level of a mortal, incapacitating him. Within us we know what is good and what is bad. We can intuitively recognize logical constructs in the universe around us. Science is but an example of us projecting our intellect upon reality. However the environment that is given to us as a child plays a very decisive role in formulating who we are. In some cases it even manages to brainwash us to the extent that we are unable to call upon our conscious and recognize the nuances of existence. This change does not come overnight but once a society has managed to derail itself it is a vicious cycle consigning future generations to doom. Yet that spark of humanity remains in us all. Therefore the need arises to safeguard the environment providing for it to be free from institutions that dictate rather than enlighten. However hope is not lost for those that think they were deprived of such an environment. I find it hard to believe that if we truly try to seek within us we will be deprived of an answer. The only one who is weak is he who thinks himself to be so.
The immortality of man lies both within his reason and his emotion. His ability to act on a gut feeling combined with his analytical skills enable him to come up with ideas that translate into wondrous creations, be they physical or mental. The human mind not only processes information like a computer but it is also capable of emotion. Reason and emotion act as a complete system to keep the human tame. They act like fire and water to counteract each other’s effects. If one is depended upon on the cost of the other it ultimately leads to ruin. Logic has its weakness for it depends upon a premise which has to be supposed without question which in itself is illogical. The downfalls of emotion are all too apparent for it is in emotion that our insatiable desires are rooted in.